Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
The sun is just a big space heater.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.
It's pretty straight to the point.
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
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