Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
I spilled some acid on my aluminum fork and it dissolved…
but I didn’t mean to! It was an oxidant.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
Henry VIII had breathing troubles - he had no heir!
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