Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
How do you know your dehydrated? You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
I saw the Liberty Bell.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
Which was the largest Gladiator of them all?
Gluteus Maximus
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
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