Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Whoever discovered calculus sounded a bit derivative.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
Biology - It grows on you.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
I saw the Liberty Bell.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Henry VIII had breathing troubles - he had no heir!
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Good science always checks itself before it wrecks itself.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Go to BabaMail
