Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semipermeable membrane?
Ozmoses.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
The sun is just a big space heater.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Go to BabaMail
