I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
What's a snake's favorite subject to study in school? Hisssstory.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Go to BabaMail
