What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why is a robot engineer never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
Physics student asks to go to bathroom.
Professor asks "Liquid, Solid or Gas?"
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...
But graphing is where I draw the line!
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
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