What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
Why was the software engineer bankrupt? He’d used all his cache.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
I sit in front if my ex in physics.
There used to be a lot of friction between us.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? That hertz.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
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