I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Air resistance is a real drag.
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
I can't touch my aunt or I will explode.
She's made of auntie matter.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
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