Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
Good science always checks itself before it wrecks itself.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
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