You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.
The local band stand was struck by lightening yesterday while the band was playing.
Only the conductor was hit.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
Physics is like incest.
It’s all relative.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
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