A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
Why did the Archaeopteryx always catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
I sit in front if my ex in physics.
There used to be a lot of friction between us.
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
Do you find bone puns humerus?
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
Go to BabaMail
