How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
To get to the other tide.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
"I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet."
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant.
Its called Eel-on Musk.
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
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