What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
She had power and time but didn't get the work done.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?
No fracking way!
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
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