What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
I can't touch my aunt or I will explode.
She's made of auntie matter.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
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