What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Hey, have you heard about....
A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
Did you hear about the zygote that joined the army?
I heard he was diploid.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
To get to the other tide.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
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