Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Did you know that geologists are athletic? Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Two antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.
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