Did you hear what the foolish gardener did?
The guy planted a light bulb and though he’d get a power plant.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What did the nerdy duckling say ?
Quark Quark.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.
I hope in doesn't Matter.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
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