What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
I spilled some acid on my aluminum fork and it dissolved…
but I didn’t mean to! It was an oxidant.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
I'm reading a book about metal fasteners.
Riveting stuff.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
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