Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What did the nerdy duckling say ?
Quark Quark.
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
Henry VIII had breathing troubles - he had no heir!
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe? Mitosis.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was "Most likely to secede."
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
I got a C in Physics and my parents grounded me.
They say I don't understand the gravity of the situation.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
Why were Native Americans in America first?
They had reservations.
When I was in school I got a B in biology, a C in chemistry.
And an F in Physics.
What is the study of real estate? Homology
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren't paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, "Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
Go to BabaMail
