Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
In which battle did the soldiers form a queue outside a metal box?
The battle of Portaloo.
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Why did the Archaeopteryx always catch the worm?
Because it was an early bird!
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
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