Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You!
Why did bulb pack an apple in his bag?
He wanted to have a light snack.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Air resistance is a real drag.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!” The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber screams, “Don’t change the subject!"
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