Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
How Many Engineers Does It Take to Assemble a Futon?
Three…and a psychologist!
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
Why did George Washington have sleeping problems? Because he is unable to lie.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
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