What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
Whoever discovered calculus sounded a bit derivative.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
Old Software Engineers Never Die...
They just reboot.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested?
He was released without charge.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Geology rocks but Geography is where it's at.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
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