Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe? Mitosis.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
The frequency of bad physics puns on this category...
It hertz.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 200 years
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Biology - It grows on you.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
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