Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
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