Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material.
What do you call the gladiator who only tackles other gladiators?
Wrestle Crow.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry? He wanted to get a little boulder. How did the geology student drown? His grades were below C-level
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza? To get their "Rock" On.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
Which was the largest Gladiator of them all?
Gluteus Maximus
I've been trying to think of an electrical pun but now my head Hertz.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
Ah! The element of surprise.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
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