Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
When Lincoln had asked Republican Senator John if he would aid him in capturing Atlanta, he replied, "Sher-man!"
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
I spilled some acid on my aluminum fork and it dissolved…
but I didn’t mean to! It was an oxidant.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Go to BabaMail
