Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 200 years
Two sodium atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly one says “Oh, my God, I’ve lost an electron!” The other says “Lost an electron! Are you sure?” and the first replies “Yes, I’m positive!”
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
Why are geologists so good in school?
They take nothing for granite.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
That boy narrated his-story really well.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
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