What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Wish upon a starfish.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
Seas the day!
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
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