Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
You seem a little mer-mad.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
I love you so fairy much.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
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