What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
I have a bone to pixie with you.
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
You seem a little mer-mad.
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