Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Fairies just wand to have fun.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
I have a bone to pixie with you.
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
You really mermaid my day.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
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