What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Go big or go gnome.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Fishing you a happy day.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
Shell-abrate the good times!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Call me on the shellphone.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
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