What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
You mermaid to go far.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
You mermake me happy.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
You are shrimply the best!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
Fishing you a happy day.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
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