What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
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