Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
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