Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
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