Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
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