What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
Go to BabaMail
