Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
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