How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
Witches are always wand-ering around…
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
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