What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
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