How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
Go to BabaMail
