How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
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