Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
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