Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
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