Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
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