How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
Go to BabaMail
