A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
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