My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
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