Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
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