Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
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