What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost clause.
“The North Pole doesn’t import goods because it’s Elf Sufficient.”
Easter is grammatically incorrect.
We should say more east.
"Beat it." — Michael Jackson, "Beat It"
Resting Grinch face.
These decorations are tree-mendous.
“How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!”
Don’t ever trust a leper-con!
You don’t need to pay rent to live inside my heart.
"Just one hot chick."
Why does Valentine's Day never work in Africa?
All the lion cheetahs.
I’ll be there in a pinch.
Icy what you did there.
Our love started with a Hershey’s Kiss.
I dig you a hole lot.
I made Chinese for Easter dinner
If I had made Japanese it would have been Eastest Dinner.
You shamrock my world.
I find you very a-peeling.
What do you call someone who's obsessed with Christmas? Santa-mental.
“Santa owes a lot to his little helpers. You might say he’s an elf-made man.”
Life is brew-tiful!
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot's him Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
"Some bunny needs vodka."
Keep calm and leprech-on.
Shake your shamrocks.
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a break from delivering gifts? Santa Pause!
Fir sure.
Sleigh, what?!
"You're poaching all my best yolks."
I got a valentine from a pickle today...
It meant a great dill to me.
Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.
February 14th.
We’re in a-green-ment.
Are you a keyboard? Because you are just my type.
You’re my lucky charm.
Are you a needle? Because you are sew special to me.
I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. The heart wants what the heart wants.
I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentine's Day
She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.
You’ll be Dublin your fortune soon.
Best in snow.
You’re the queen of my heart.
You are pitcher perfect.
Irish you luck.
As it snow happens.
Distill my beating heart.
Here today, lepre-gone tomorrow.
Birch, please.
What is Santa's favorite breakfast food? Snow-flakes.
"Having a good hare day."
Are you a lightbulb? Because you turn me on.
"You crack me up."
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