How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
When I gave the wrong answer about Austrian composers in class, my teacher said, "Are you Schubert that?"
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semipermeable membrane?
Ozmoses.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Go to BabaMail
