What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
In which battle did the soldiers form a queue outside a metal box?
The battle of Portaloo.
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Which was the largest Gladiator of them all?
Gluteus Maximus
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
One of the funny puns uttered by Mark Twain is that denial is not just a river in Egypt.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
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