What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
I had a friend who got a Ph.D. in the history of Palindromes. He is now called Dr. Awkward.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Why did George Washington have sleeping problems? Because he is unable to lie.
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
When the History teachers wanted to help out students who were failing the subject privately, they put up a poster on the school bulletin boards that said, "Need Tudoring?"
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
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