What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
Why were Native Americans in America first?
They had reservations.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
When Napoleon died in the explosion, he was blown-apart-e.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
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