Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
What happened to the two gladiator olives?
They were pitted against each other
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
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