A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Before America was founded, the idea of a democratic nation in the New World was unPresidented.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What do you call a happy aviator?
A gladiator
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Go to BabaMail
