Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
Henry VIII had breathing troubles - he had no heir!
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
My Gladiator DVD stopped working...
Talk about an *epic* fail.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why did George Washington have sleeping problems? Because he is unable to lie.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
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